I once told my friend Terri that I had taken a wonderful “illegal nap” that day.  She said “what in the world is an illegal nap?”   Let me enlighten you as I enlightened her.

An illegal nap is a nap that is taken when you don’t have time, have a million other things to do around the house, the stores are open and you have a list of errands, but mostly, and this is what takes it from misdemeanor illegal nap (which is a long nap on a lazy Sunday afternoon) to felony illegal nap: it is taken in the middle of a sunny Saturday afternoon, and for as long as you like and it must be, according to Mary’s Dictionary of  Alternative Definitions, guilt free. 

An illegal nap is not half an hour in between the morning chores and afternoon errands during which you just gather enough energy to carry on.  An illegal nap starts anytime after noon and must go for at least two hours, preferably three to whenever-you-wake-up hours.  An illegal nap does not end when you wake up and think “I should get up and get moving.”  An illegal nap continues as you happily realize you are runnin’ from the sheriff of How Dare You Take a Nap County and need to keep on sleeping to escape his clutches and get sent to the slammer of cleaning off your desk, doing laundry and getting stuck in Saturday afternoon youth soccer league traffic.  You smile as you roll over and dive back into dreamland. 

I just took one today.  Oh man, there is NOTHING like it.  A regular nap is a duty, like brushing your teeth.  Better take a nap, or I’ll feel tired later.   Not an illegal nap.   It feels like you are getting away with something when in reality you are giving yourself something that just feels deliciously decadent.  An illegal nap feels like a day at the spa…a luxury, rejuvenating, non-essential. 

Mmmmm, I may have to break the law again tomorrow, although being Sunday, it will be a lesser crime…