Have I said this already?  If so, tough.  I have decided I don’t want to be a fiction writer.  I know everything I’m learning in this class can be useful for non-fiction, too, but I’m just about dying of “not-wanting-to-do-this” right now and I still have several modules to go and final drafts to make into a portfolio.

I’m trying to figure it out.  Laziness is probably part of it.  Why make stuff up, characters and settings and descriptions of imagined things when, as my friend Tina put it, I can just
“pontificate?”  I want to become a better pontificator, maybe even an inspirational writer, but even this crazy story about the guy who decides to shoot my poor little car snooping girlfriend that’s been finding its way onto paper just doesn’t feel like “me.”  I just can’t imagine myself thinking up characters and putting all that effort into something that will probably end up on the $5.00 pile at Barnes and Noble.   I am just not committed enough to write serious fiction.  I have quilts waiting to be sewn for heaven’s sake. Dollhouse roomboxes to be built.  Piano music to be played.  Hole myself up and write a story?  Nope, don’t think so.

I feel like I’m finding out more about what I don’t want to do in this little second-half-of-life journey than what I want to do.  I guess that’s better than never having poked around at different things at all.   I’m still looking at the rest of the writing certificate curriculum; once I get past the two required courses, this being one of them, then there are electives that sound more interesting and useful – medical writing for example.  Children’s picture book writing – I have a stack of children’s poems I wrote back in the day and there are a couple that are very universal that may have potential.  Then there’s the personal essay class – hell, don’t have to do any homework for that one – just edit this blog and hand it in, eh?  Of course I don’t have to get the certificate, I can just take a class here and there.

Mostly I’m thinking I need to just shine up some rusty skills and maybe try to learn some new ones.  I’m joining Toastmasters, something I’ve almost done for years.  I am no longer afraid to speak in front of a group, so honing that skill can only be helpful in whatever career God decides to throw into my path.  Being pretty much out of patient care now, I am already missing my “old folks” and will be volunteering with the Meals on Wheels Friendly Visitor program – which is just what it sounds like.  You visit.  You don’t have to write documentation, you don’t have to worry about whether Medicare will pay for it, you only have to control your desire to give a physical therapy tip here or there.

Who knows where it all will lead?  Isn’t life grand!