Just returned from my 35th reunion from Marquette University.  It was a bit different than the 30th (and my first reunion) for many different reasons. It was not as light-hearted as the 30th, that’s  for sure.   Here are a few things I learned:

I am what I am.  Some people like what I have become, even love what I have become (a guy named Al Sondag comes to mind).  Some people don’t.  It used to be that I cared very deeply about what everybody thought of me, especially people that I admired.  I was insecure.  I would not speak my mind for fear of being judged.  If I was hurt, I would bounce back, cry my tears and stand up to carry on.  If I loved someone I wanted to be loved in return.  I was a faithful friend.  I would be there for you in good times and bad, just as I relied on my close friends for support and love in the good times and bad.

It was good to see people.  However, it was in the context of seeing friends from 35 years ago that I have looked in the mirror and seen the changes in myself.  I don’t give a crap what other people think of me and who I have become.  If you won’t be there for me in good times and bad, then you will need to find someone else to have the favor returned.   If I am hurt, I will still cry my tears, I will stand up and carry on, but I will not “bounce back.”  I don’t put my hand on the stove another time to make sure it really will burn me. Sometimes when people change in such a manner, people who have been comfortable with the “way we were” are not so comfortable with the new.  I understand that as well.

It is unlikely I will be at another group reunion.  The first one was magical.  The second was a stark reality of lives, philosophies, tolerances for certain behaviors all gone in different directions.  It hurt.  I have cried my tears.  I will stand up and carry on.  I truly hope that I some of us will meet again along the road of life.  I hope I have not hurt anyone myself, although the chances of that being true are slim.

Don’t think twice, it’s all right.