Whoa.  Just minding my own business Friday night, relaxing on the couch with Al while Ed the Dog snored loudly and made sleep look like an art form, and I was  flipping channels around the TV.  Come across the quarterfinals of a crazy new series on the History Channel – Full Metal Jousting.  Wow.  Full metal fun.

First of all, let me say that it was my great Aunt Tess who was a jolly overweight total kick in the pants and who was the first person I ever heard use the expression “he can put his shoes under my bed anytime…” when she was probably in her eighties, talking about a guy in his thirties.

I’m not eighty but I’m definitely too old to be saying this, but any one of these guys could put his shoes under my bed anytime.   They look like normal and not even necessarily attractive guys until they come riding out on gorgeous horses, most of them looking the part with long hair flying in the wind.  Wow.  They do wear full metal for the joust, including a helmet, and a  12 pound steel plate on the left shoulder that is the target.  They get a point for hitting the plate, they get five points for breaking the lance and ten points for “unhorsing” which is exactly what it sounds like, and the other guy “eats sand.”   There are eight runs each match.  He who gets the most points wins the match and moves on.   Simple as that.  The horses are unbelievably beautiful and powerful.  The combined weight of the jousters and the horses averages around 2,000 pounds.  Big horses.  If you’ve been to Medieval Times you can understand the appeal.

The champion wins $100 grand.  These guys are serious. Right now I’m watching the semi-finals and the two guys jousting are good friends in real life.  But as they say “when you’re jousting you have no friends.”  Just witnessed a double unhorsing and the crowd goes wild.  Of course the crowd at this point is just the teams behind the jousters, but even the two jousters are cheering – I guess it doesn’t get any better than this in jousting.  I have a hunch this show is going to have a real crowd next time.

So, family and friends, if you want to see something amazing, get yourself on the History channel Sunday night 10p.m/9 central.  Take a step back in time, 21st century style.  You’ll be watching Josh Knowles, a red-headed god, and Matt Hiltman, a blue-eyed hunk.  Ladies, get ready to wave your hankies for your favorite!