Well, suddenly real life begins again.  Tomorrow I have my orientation for my new job here in SoCal.  I was hoping that I would still be able to do similar work down here instead of patient care, but it was not to be.  What the heck, I thought, I’ll just go back out in the field in home health.

Last week, I went in to the branch of my company down here to pee in a cup and sit in on a weekly case conference to meet everyone and then orient to their computer system.  Fifteen minutes into the case conference my stomach started to tighten up. I felt the very soul of my being diminish.  It was all there, back in my face: being in the patients’ homes alone (a blessing and a curse), having to communicate with the team by endless phone calls, doctors who won’t respond to your calls, difficult family members who undermine the work we are trying to do that will help the patient achieve their independence or medical goals.  And on.  And on.

Add to that the fact that I have absolutely no idea where I am half the time and am still finding myself pulling into business park parking lots to open a paper map in an attempt, often in vain, to orient myself.  It just sounded like a recipe for mental disaster.

Once again, the flexibility and demand for physical therapists has come to the rescue however.  I will be starting a job tomorrow at my old friend, the skilled nursing facility.  Not easy work by any stretch of the imagination, but a setting I love.  I will work per diem on most Saturdays and during the week as needed.  The best part? It is less than two miles from my home!  I can walk or bike there!  Ed the Dog and I have already done the walk and it is 40 minutes, and that included his stop and smell everything along the way time.  Probably 35 in reality, although I will try not to cut it that close.  I have a new attitude about it all, because I know it is temporary now.  I no longer have to be angry and frustrated that I will still not have found PT nirvana, that mythical work setting that is only possible when one is a PT aide without the responsibility. I am moving on.

The realization also descended upon me that no matter how much I dislike this fact, I cannot leave patient care without more education.  It is apparent that Al and I are going to be working much longer than we thought (aren’t we all?) and I want to get out of patient care.  Period.   As you might recall, I started this blog when I made the difficult decision that the transitional Doctor of Physical Therapy program was not the right path for me.  It was clinical in nature and even if it allowed me to move beyond clinical work, the writing and teaching and whatever would have to be physical therapy related.  It was just too limiting.

In the fall I will begin a different and more useful program at Utica College in New York, which is an online offshoot of Syracuse University.  I will earn my MS in Health Care Administration.  With core courses like Ethical and Legal Issues, Quality Management and Performance Improvement in Evidence Based Health Care, and Perspectives in  Gerontology, along with elective tracks in Gerontology, this course of study will allow me choices.  I cannot see myself as an “administrator” but with better credentials after my name (a concept which I detest but accept now) I may be able to – remember the beginning of this blog journey? – share my wisdom through writing and speaking and who knows what else.

When I started building a dollhouse back in 1993, I remember discovering that like Alice in Wonderland, I had opened a door into a world I didn’t even know existed, the world of miniatures.  You can make or buy anything in miniatures that exists in the world.  It was amazing.  Likewise, my “goals” at this time are not to decide what I will do with this degree, but to keep my eyes open to the opportunities and choices along the way.  I will peek in all the doors, and I have faith that one will be the right one.

As usual, stay tuned…