Last week our local news, and from what I understand it was newsworthy outside of our state of California, publicized an extremely disturbing video of a public official (now resigned) beating his son with a belt while playing catch in the backyard.   A neighbor decided to video what was going on from his window, and after intervening and stopping the stepfather, he handed the videos over to the police.

Disgusting, disturbing, heart wrenching, all of the above and more.  The idiot was arrested and let out on $100,000 bond and was forced to resign his position as a water district director (no small position in the Big Valley).  He has not yet been formally charged.

Here’s where I go off the handle.  The child’s grandfather was interviewed and gives the jerk a pass saying that his grandson has ADHD and that the child said he was having “a bad day.”   That they tried everything and only hitting him worked.  Somebody get me a torch and an axe handle. I’m ready to riot.

I know all about ADHD.  I raised an ADHD kid.  I’ve heard it all: he needed more discipline, he just needed a good whack, he just needed more exercise and fresh air (we lived on an acre and a half; ), he needed to not have anything with caffeine (turns out caffeine is actually has a positive effect on ADHD, the problem is lack of stimulation of certain inhibitory centers of the brain, thus the caffeine stimulates that and inhibition of out of control behavior can occur).  Incidentally, Parkinson’s is a function of the decline of inhibitory centers, thus causing hyper muscle tone.  Hmmm. I’m a PT, maybe I should consider a different approach…

Using medication for my son was the most difficult parenting decision I have ever made or ever will.   I will never forget the first time he sat down, in 4th grade, to write a paragraph.  This task had previously resulted in tears, pencils breaking, frustration and raging.  After he was on the medication, he sat down and wrote a paragraph at 6th grade level.  He was able to learn behavioral and study strategies that before  had just been more frustration for him and for us.   I will never forget when he started to make one of those gingerbread house kits.  Normally such a project would have had him falling apart and again, raging in utter frustration as the candy pieces would fall off or something would “go wrong.”  As I worked in the kitchen and braced myself for that eventuality, I suddenly looked up to find the gingerbread house  all but finished and a proud and happy little boy.

My son is a man now.  He is off medication now, although it is always an option, as adults deal with this malady as well.  He is working full time at a good job and has other admirable life goals.    He has learned many strategies to help him study, including a cup of coffee now and again.   What he doesn’t do is beat himself up.  We didn’t either.

So I don’t know who is going to read this or whose lives you may touch, but let me say this.  If you have ever been someone who thinks that pharmaceuticals are never the answer for children, think again.  Some kids need to be on meds for diabetes.  Some kids need to be on meds for seizures.  Some kids need to be on meds for heart problems.  Sometimes medication can save a life, can save an ADHD kid from self medicating with drugs and alcohol.  And for God’s sake, no kid needs to be beaten within an inch of his life because he has had a “bad day.”  I guarantee you that an ADHD kid at age eight often has more bad days than good days.

Supposedly the little boy in question did not have any marks on him after the incident.    Not on his outside body anyway. He didn’t learn how to catch a ball that day.  He only learned that he is bad.  Nice.  Now where’s my torch.