Yesterday I was hand sewing the binding of the quilt I started last summer for a bride. She is now pregnant, I figured I’d better get it done before the baby shower this weekend.   I was sitting in front of the TV watching trash, court shows, etc.  Hey, don’t judge, hand sewing a binding is the boring part of quilting.  Anyway, it was interrupted by something so very L.A.

It was a car chase.  It had apparently started in Claremont (you’re going to have to get out your own maps, I’m not sure where anything it outside of my own little world).  It was rather OJ-ish – the news helicopter was following along as the driver made his way down the freeway with cops following along.  The news commentators were hilarious – “he has gotten up to high speeds at times, up to 80 mph.”  Wait a second.  That’s high speed around here?  Are you sure it was a car chase and not just somebody on his way to work?

I digress.  He weaved in and out of traffic, going through the carpool lane – you’re only supposed to enter and exit at certain points.  Other than that there were three people in the car so he was okay on that count at least.   We know all this because the commentators were questioning the helicopter dude and the poor schmuck CHP cop who got stuck with the ‘talking-to-the-news-reporters’ gig.  Must have lost at rock-paper-scissors.  “We know we’ve asked you this, officer, and perhaps you don’t have any more information, but do we know why they originally tried to stop this vehicle?”  Honestly, that’s how they put it, not fifteen minutes after they asked it the first time.  The poor cop.  Professional as he could be, “Uh, no, but as I say we’re watching this situation very closely, and do not have any information at this time, and as I said we just want this to end safely.”

I was glued to the TV.  I wish I could say I was not, but it was like watching a movie except for the lousy dialogue.  The guy got off the freeway.  We heard that a woman who had been in the van had gotten out somewhere along the way.  (“Officer do we know anything about the woman who got out of the van?”   “No we don’t have any information at this time but we are watching this situation closely and just want it to end, as I say, safely.)

He circled the same neighborhood for half an hour, cops in slow pursuit.  Barely missing cars that were backing out, going through stop signs, changing lanes, then suddenly (and at this the news reporters started to become noticeably aroused) he stops and another passenger gets out, casually walks away and he takes off again.  Let’s watch that again.  And again.  In case you missed it the second and third time, here it is again.  Here he is stopping, and the passenger gets out and casually walks off.  To the helicopter guy:  “Do we know if the CHP followed him?”  No information.  Settle back down, girls.

By now we know that the car is registered to someone in the neighborhood where he’s running around.  So the news reporters speculate: “Is he calling someone in the neighborhood making contact?  Does it appear he knows where he is going?”

Then, it heats up, the guy gets on a busy street and fights his way through a busy intersection and the cops slow down so they don’t kill any pedestrians or crash any cars.  At this point the guy races down the open side street – what I don’t understand here is that the guy is being followed by a HELICOPTER – where does he think he’s going to go?  Anyway, he finally goes down a dead end, flies out of the car and starts jumping over fences in the neighborhood.  “Again, this car is registered to someone in the neighborhood, has he been contacting someone while he’s driving around?”  Might as well ask if he had eggs for breakfast, really.  NOBODY KNOWS ANYTHING!!!!!

How he managed to avoid the yard with five big ol’ dogs in it I’ll never know.  Suddenly he ducks under a tree and we no longer see him.   CHP cops arrive, LA cops arrive, police dogs arrive, helicopter is hovering over the tree. (The cops had an airplane in the air – how is that useful?) The yard with the dogs now includes a guy walking around with a baseball bat.  I am not making this up.

I wish I could say I wasn’t laughing and shaking my head.  Not at the clearly dangerous situation, but the breathlessness with which the news reporters were commentating.  And there was nothing to comment on.  We were just watching cops follow a guy in a car, with an occasional and predictable near miss, oh except for that exciting moment when the guy got out of the car and ambled away.

What happened?  Well, I guess it wasn’t exciting anymore, because they cut off coverage and told us we’d get an update at 8 p.m.  WHAT!!!!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?  To be continued?  Why can’t I watch the dogs go through the neighborhood?  Why can’t I watch the cops going door to door.  Why can’t I watch the person whose house he took hostage wink wink to the officers when she says “oh no, he’s not here?”  What kind of total news coverage is this?

See how quickly one can become acclimated to their new environs?  I’m so very LA now.

Oh, you want to know the outcome? I was wrong.  They never found the guy.  They called off the search at 10 p.m.  Your tax dollars at work.  The reports on the internet about this include comments from more seasoned Los Angelinos: “I don’t even watch these anymore, they never catch the guy.”  I’ll make a note of that and just put on a good movie next time I have some hand sewing to do.