We’ve been at sea for three days, arriving in Cabo San Lucas this morning.  We have no plans other than to go ashore and pick up a few trinkets and try to spend the pesos Al has been carrying around for five years.  Hard to get anyone to take them, US dollars are preferred.  

I have really lost track of days/time since we’ve been at sea.  I think today is Tuesday.  So that means Saturday, Sunday and Monday we were at sea (I’m good, huh?)  Oh yeah, Saturday was the day I slept all afternoon.  Sunday was Mother’s Day.  I had to give in and pay for a massage.  

Before we left on the cruise, I had been suffering from terrible neck pain and finally went to a physical therapist, complaining that I hate it when I can’t fix myself.  X-rays were negative and  I needed that electric stim and ultrasound to break through the issues.  Two weeks and I was good to go.  Until Costa Rica.  Getting into the van I failed to keep my head ducked enough and stood up just a split second too soon, crashing the top of my head on the roof of the frame.  I instantly felt it all return, but I tried not to panic.  I managed to keep it under control, massaged myself, stretched, etc.  It was getting better and I figured I had dodged the bullet.

That was until Nicaragua and the bus ride.  The volcano hike loosened me up and I was feeling pretty good until the bus driver went over a curb.  Or something.  Could have been a person or a motorcycle or a dog.  I don’t really know.  All I know is that when we came off that curb we all went flying to the left – Al crashing into the guy next to him (we were seated on the back bench seat) causing them both to apologize and insist they had no prurient interest in each other.  My neck whiplashed to the left and then back to the right.  I cringed as the pain shot through all the areas I had worked so hard to eliminate.  I am back at square one.

Which meant on Mother’s Day I took advantage of the Mother’s Day “special” which was still too much to pay for a 60 minute massage but I was desperate. It was mildly helpful.  I need the e-stim and ultrasound again, dammit.   Although the massage was just fine, I was irritated almost immediately because in my relaxed state the poor massage therapist is required to try to sell me something.  I declined but it certainly took the zen out of the experience.  

Pretty much went back to the cabin, read for a bit and then fell asleep again.  All this time Al is enjoying the Lido deck.  Al loves talking small talk to total strangers, I’d rather jump off the side of the ship, so it’s all good.  He already knows people as we walk through the dining room.  

We’ve enjoyed several excellent comedians.  I don’t know where they find these people but I had to pull tissues out of my purse both times to dab at my eyes I was laughing so hard.  Of course many of the jokes are cruise related so you had to be there, but last night the guy hit the mark several times.  Once was saying that years ago they’d greet you on Princess saying “Welcome to the Love Boat, enjoy your cruise.”  Now they (and all cruise ships, due to health reasons) have you answer this question: “Do you have diarrhea?”

He also told the bitter truth how he watches couples get on the ship, ready for a second honeymoon, and after 14 days sharing a small cabin they’re snapping at each other “Stop! Will you just stop with that breathing? What IS it with that?  In and out, in and out.  Enough already.  And then you start with the blinking, eyes open, eyes shut, eyes open, eyes shut, pick one for God’s sake!”

The audience is rolling down the aisles en masse.

Have caught up on some more movies under the stars.  Last night was Last Vegas which is HILARIOUS and highly recommended.  I told Al before it started if it stunk we could just leave.  If you want to see experienced comedic genius all in one place this is the movie for you.  Robert DeNiro, Kevin Kline, Morgan Freeman and Michael Douglas, funniest ever, poking fun at their old age with no stone left unturned or detail missed.  Also saw Mamma Mia (again) – which I could have lived without, once is enough, but since we’re singing “Dancing Queen” in our choral program in June I at least got in a little mental rehearsal.

Things Al heard that are classic cruise comments:

“When it’s nice there, it’s as nice as anywhere.”  (Woman at next table, from Vancouver, talking to waiter) – I know, it doesn’t sound that funny but Al just about lost his tea up his nose, he couldn’t stop giggling and says he’ll never forget that line.  Which unfortunately I know is true, I’ll be hearing it forever.  But really, what the hell does that mean?  I can see his point.

“I didn’t think it would be so Mexican.”  (Woman at the pool from Australia, discussing Nicaragua with Al.)  Nice to know Americans aren’t the only idiots in the world.

We are winding down.  I have lots of internet minutes to use up, having given up on the slow speed that was using all my minutes.  I have no regrets about internet.  I love keeping in touch and writing my blog in real time and sharing it.  Even back in 2005 in Italy I was     happy to use the internet cafes that had popped up.  I take my “quiet respites” in small doses here and there so don’t feel the need to eschew all things technological.

Next time we are on a cruise this long I will also bring along something to do besides read.  I underestimated the down time and have gotten quite antsy, wishing I at least had some hand sewing on a quilt to do or something.  Live and learn.  I have done 31 Merl Reagle crosswords puzzles, thank God I bought that book before I left home.  

Yesterday I forced myself to just sit on the Lido under the shade and do nothing.  This is somewhat torture for me, my mind is always going and wishing I had unlimited internet to review the physiology of nerve conduction velocity, for example,  to better be able to teach e-stim in June. Mind you, that is fascinating stuff for me, not work.  And then there was that fifteen minutes on a chair in the sun to get “sun-kissed” which was all it took to burn the hell out of my fair skin which I so carefully protect every other day of my life.  What was I thinking?  Nothing, obviously.  Maybe the mission of total relaxation was accomplished, I don’t know. 

I’m done with the food, too.  I want to get home to my breakfast of banana and cereal and yogurt and smoothies for lunch and whatever for dinner.  I guess they don’t want us to get dehydrated because everything is overly salty.  Am I starting to make David Foster Wallace’s “Nadir” sound like a psalm of praise for cruising?   Nah, it’s really a great way to get around, I love being at sea, and I just need to keep finding ways to avoid people when I’m on the ship, including but not limited to that guy who’s blinking so loudly over there….