I have always enjoyed hiking.  When my parents would take us to the mountains I learned the rewards of hiking were many.  Before anyone knew the Grand Tetons existed, before Jackson Hole, Wyoming became a billionaire’s hangout, we’d take our tent and go camping in campgrounds with pit toilets and the occasional bear roaming through.

One hike we went on in the Tetons that became a jewel of a family memory was to Hidden Falls. We’d take a boat ride across the lake and be dropped off at the trail head.  Then we’d hike up; you could hear the falls long before you saw them.  Then suddenly you rounded a bend and there they were. My Dad snapped a photo of ten year old me kneeling down and drinking from the pool.  Yes, I’m that old, kiddos, you used to be able to drink out of streams without sterilizing the water first.  My Dad later painted an oil painting of that photo and it now hangs in my son Andy’s home.

Through the years I hiked a lot.  As an adult I admit I’ve never been a great uphill hiker (or biker for that matter). Al will tell you I’m a bit of a whiner, especially if it is hot,  but it was always worth it.

I’m not sure when it stopped being fun, when the view at the top became not worth it.  Not in Hong Kong, not in Washington State, not anywhere.  Maybe the Grand Canyon trip was the last straw. I could have lived without being one of the 1% of the millions of visitors who get to see the bottom – and then have to walk back up. That was 10 years ago.

This most recent hike with two of my dearest friends may have been the last uphill hike.  I felt bad, I was my usual whiny self  but this time it was different.  There was a sadness because I faced the realization that if I don’t like it so much, I should accept that, and choose easier hikes or stay home,  I asked Al to please remind me of that – I’m always “game” – and then sorry I agreed when I’m dragging my sorry butt up the trail, potentially making everyone uncomfortable.

The good news is there are plenty of flat hikes to be done. I walked 11 miles on Yosemite Valley floor a few years back, and it was wonderful.  I am just hoping that there are long, flat hikes in the woods, not just the visitor center “loop” but real hikes, at least a few miles and back, trails on which I don’t have to constantly be looking down so I don’t trip. Trails on which I’m not wondering how much more.  Trails on which I can look around and hear the birds instead of the voice in my head saying “I should have stayed home.”

This was a tough realization for me, but I guess it’s part of this time of life: determining what’s worth doing, what’s not, where I want to spend my time and energy.  I’m not done with this hike called life, I’m just done climbing difficult peaks that I don’t have to climb.

I’ll be waiting at the bottom with a cool glass of water for my friends, and they can tell me all about it and that will be enough for me.