UH -OH, TIme Passes So Quickly – Recap of Thursday

Here is is Sunday already and I’m left trying to figure out what happened Thursday, Friday and Saturday!  No matter how tired one is, a travel journal should always be kept up daily…

Thursday we had our usual breakfast at the hotel breakfast buffet, nothing very unusual   IMG_0447Then we took a ferry to Lamma Island (no this was not the ferry! The Queen Elizabeth docked there – seriously huge cruise ship).   Here are some ferry boat related photos: IMG_0464IMG_0466 IMG_0455 IMG_0450fake sampan…

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Once we arrived at  Yung Shue Wan on Lamma Island we hiked,via paved trail (still, up and down and my knees were not yet recovered from the day before, so I was rather grouchy about it…), to the other side of the island, Sok Kwu Wan, where there is pretty much just a waterfront of fresh fish restaurants.

Once we got off the ferry the trail meanders through the town.  The trail is just wide enough for a golf cart and a half and the main mode of vehicle transportation is electric carts that hold everything from produce and building materials to people.  I guess you have to know someone – the only people I saw riding were a woman about my age in animated conversation with the driver as they flew past and later a young woman in giggling conversation with the driver – I think he was trying to scare her a bit with his driving.  Some things are universal all over the world.

IMG_0474    IMG_0476IMG_0477     IMG_0480IMG_0486IMG_0492I made the guys all use hand wipes after they obsessively checked the change return for coins…IMG_0491 a little sidewalk shrine

IMG_0490this was cool: appeared to be a bed/crib headboard re-purposed into a street grate over a ditch.

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Eventually the trail left the town and then the scenery was either greenery or vegetable gardens.  The houses are typically ramshackle with anything one might need to live or fix something or whatever out in the side yard in a heap – pvc pipe, bicycle tires, cardboard boxes, you name it.   Dogs are everywhere running freely, most with collars and very skittish – they appear as though they have been “trained” to not approach strangers as even looking at them as if you might reach out and pet them (which I wouldn’t anyway, I know the stranger danger dog rules…) causes them to skirt around you and cower ever so slightly.  The trail then took us up and over the higher points (to the creak, creak, creak of my knees) where there were some lovely views – really, anytime you get to a higher point there are fantabulous views of the water and green island mountains.

IMG_0494 approaching the fishing village IMG_0497 one of the man made caves that was apparently built by the Japanese during WWII to house “kamikaze motorboats”- this one was a tunnel that was started and not fiinished when the war ended, but supposedly there are more finished ones around the island.

IMG_0500These are dogs.  I have no idea what it’s all about.  They are all black. At one point when we were eating we could see them all run to one end of the beach (for food?) except for one dog who remained sitting there at attention and eventually other dogs came back to it (with food?)  Then, typical of dogs, they all went back to sleep.

Temple at Sok Kwu Wan:

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We had dinner there in Sok Kwue Wan Rainbow Bay, the entire waterfront one fresh seafood restaurant after another.  Some of the fish didn’t look so damn fresh to me, floating as they were in the aquariums, but upon closer inspection they were simply on their way out. Still…it creeped me out a bit. I honestly don’t remember what I have eaten anymore, there is a lot of group ordering as you would a Chinese restaurant at home.  Some of it I enjoy, others not so much.  I eat a lot of rice to settle my stomach as it seems that there is a lot of oil used in the cooking.

After dinner the rest of the group headed off for a poker game with friends but as I was falling asleep in my plate of fried rice Al and I opted to ferry back home.  I have not even been able to take my makeup off on these nights – just falling into bed already asleep before I arrive at the hotel….

The view of Hong Kong, awaiting the ferry home

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Hong Kong – Hit the Ground Running

Arrived at 5 a.m., Patti and Al were at airport to meet me.  I was feeling pretty spry, glad to be at my destination.  We had breakfast at the hotel buffet at Panorama Hotel in Kowloon which overlooks Victoria Harbor and the city of Hong Kong just across a narrow waterway.  Patti went off to her daily yoga and Jeff, Al, Jimbo (another old buddy from SF softball days) and I took off for parts unknown which included a stop at the Dr. Sun Yat-Sen Museum,  Dr.Sun  (1866-1925) being a learned man who helped bring down the two thousand year old Qing Dynasty and establish the Republic of China before he died at age 59 of liver cancer. IMG_0398 It was interesting but the history was so overwhelmingly confusing and the names so foreign throughout the exhibits that I admit I needed the video at the end to have it make any sense.  Gorgeous building built in 1914 as the home of businessman Ho Kom Tong, Edwardian style.  Lovely and exceptionally well preserved.

In order to arrive at this place we took public transportation over to Hong Kong and then walked and walked and walked.  I had my hiking boots on for our later hike which turned out to be a good thing, even with my comfortable new sandals it might have been a challenge. Except for all the plane stuff I traveled light – not even a pair of tennis shoes!   Hong Kong was surprisingly hilly – a la San Francisco and we walked up stairs and hills   – which was a bit of a foreshadowing to the Dragon’s Tail hike.

We also stopped at the Man Mo Temple on our way back to our meeting spot for the hike.  The Man Mo Temple is a small temple, filled with copious amounts of incense, where people come to offer prayers.  Built in 1847 and offers homage to the god of literature Man) and the god of war (Mo).

IMG_0399 IMG_0400 IMG_0401 IMG_0402 IMG_0403 IMG_0404 IMG_0405 IMG_0406 IMG_0408The curly things hanging from the ceiling are incense and take forever and a day to burn.

The side streets are generally narrow and more like alley ways, just as you might imagine a British/Chinese city to be: decidedly western shops interspersed with shops that appear to have been there since the time of the great wall. Organized chaos.  Unlike our super regulated USA, construction workers are emptying out buildings of lumber and drywall and insulation right in front of you as you walk down the street.  Large laundry-looking baskets are piled up – I don’t know the purpose of them as yet.  Neon signs and LED signs and hanging paper signs compete side by side.

I love it.  I love not knowing what anyone is saying -I find it strangely relaxing, almost like being alone.  I love not knowing what a shop is about until I peek inside.  I love being here, instead of in Chinatown in the US. I love the strange smells.  I love how people are shielding themselves with umbrellas and their babies with newspapers over their heads and it is merely spitting outside.  I love that people are wearing masks when they are sick and going about their business instead of coughing in your face.  I love that I don’t know what any of the food is on the menus and have to just dive in and check it out. And of course I love the children.

I’m not much of a shopper in general, but if I were this is the place to do it.  Our hotel in Kowloon is in the district of Tsim Sha Tsui and although our area is much like the areas described above with numerous tiny shops, like Hong Kong central it has crazy high end flagship store such as Louis Vuitton and Chanel.

In the afternoon we met Jeff and Patti’s friend, another Jim who is a power dude here in Hong Kong.  He and his driver met us and we drove for about an hour past miles and miles and miles and I’m not kidding, miles of high rise apartment buildings that looked like not much more than dorm buildings.  Apparently no one has a washer and drier because every apartment was festooned with clothes hanging out to dry either inside or out.  As Patti noted they all look they are jammed full of stuff – which if you’re living in a dorm room is probably the case.  What impressed me the most however was the sheer number of buildings for so many miles, and they were all skyscrapers.

Then, suddenly, we were in green space.  Lush mountains of green space.  We arrived at the starting point for our hike.  I was hesitant.  I had pretty much been up since the night before with two hours of sleep.  The hike was 7.5 kilometers (about 4.5 miles) and 2.5 hours long and as previously mentioned, mountainous.  Dragon’s Tail and all that.  Fantastic view at the top.  Still and all, I was nervous, but not one to be left behind, I started trekking.

Visions of the Grand Canyon, truly the hike from hell (never did write about it – what happens in the G.C. stays in the G.C. – but suffice to say Jan was deathly ill and shouldn’t have done it at all and I could have lived my life without hiking nine miles up and nine miles back on mostly stairs cut out of the canyon.  We are 1%-ers though and maybe now 5 years later I may be able to jot something down.  On the other hand, what happens in G.C…)

This hike started with stairs going up.  The two locals who were guiding us – Jim and another who joined us, Rob, took off like the locals they are.  I had my trekking poles and just decided to plod along at my own pace.  The trail felt like the rain forest but very rocky.  You got a sense that in the rainy season that the trail would be a great place to sled down the mud.  Every so often there would be some attempt at water control under or across the trail – a sewer pipe here, a grate there, a rubber hose her, a PVC pipe there.  There were bird serenading me all along the way – foreign birds that I could rarely see in the foliage but whose songs enchanted me and kept me sane while my body worried.

Patti and I stuck close together – Patti is not a hiker in general and we got into a nice repartee of bitching about the hike.  At one point I was pretty much by myself – I knew they had stopped ahead and I was climbing yet another set of 30 steps when four dogs appeared at the top of the steps.  Freaked me out.  I called to my party and got no answer.  More freaking out, planning how I would defend myself with my trekking poles.   The dogs looked at me and kept going and not long after a man came behind them.  When I caught up with the group I read them the riot act about sticking closer to me, that I was doing the best I could.  The dogs somehow got corralled into a fenced in area by what appeared to be a dog trainer.  I don’t know.  I thought I was in wilderness.

The hike went on  – and on – and on.  We got to the point where we could choose between going up to the summit or heading back down.  Need I tell you what the group consensus was?  On we went.  More up and then down and then up – the dragon’s tail doncha know.  It’s the down that kills the knees.  The view was outstanding from the top, but as a once again spoiled California girl all I could think was “this looks a lot like the SF Bay.”  But it wasn’t, it was Hong Kong, as was evidenced by looking in the other direction and seeing those miles and miles of apartment buildings in the city below.

Heading downhill, I began to laugh hysterically.  It was the last two miles of the descent into the Grand Canyon all over again.  Step by painful step, planting the trekking poles carefully so as to lessen the impact on my knees.  I could not believe I was reliving the last two excruciating miles of the GC descent.  All I could do was laugh. Maniacally.

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one twentieth of the endless apartment buildings.

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nice part of the hike – after the first set of steps.  Thought I was home free…

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the Summit – the Dragon has been slayed…

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OK, well maybe it is a little sweeter than SF Bay…by the way it is not smoggy – it is a bit misty and overcast, very SF-ish as it were.

Descend we did.  We hopped on the bus to Shek-O near the beginning of the hike. Shek-O is the home of several beaches where surfers go.  The town is tiny mish-mash of huts and cafes and bars, most indistinguishable from each other and in a maze that even got our local friend lost.

. IMG_0426 IMG_0427 adorable…

IMG_0428this was where Rob realized he had taken us in the wrong direction to the pub and we were at a dead end…

IMG_0429Not to be deterred Rob takes off again. Wish I had taken more photos – we must have walked for five minutes through a maze of buildings like this, past little abodes with pretty flowers pots and the biggest Crown of Thorns plant I ever saw, cooking smells emanating from them that made my mouth water.

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Copacabana at Shek-O beach…

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The pub we were looking for was closed and we ended up stumbling upon a beachside pub/restaurant that started out with a libation and ended up with what was arguably a 5-star dinner.  A whole sea bass stuffed with rosemary and capers was my choice. Unfortunately I didn’t realize mine would arrive flaming and I was in the bathroom at that exact moment!  Oh well, everyone else enjoyed it… The owner/waitress had clearly been formally trained at some point in her life – the service and presentation was impeccable from start to finish – but I think she found her paradise in Shek-O, m’self.

By this time I had been up about 24 hours except for that two hours on the Tokyo to Hong Kong jaunt.  The original group of Patti, Jeff,  Al and I caught a jitney bus from the beach back to a metro station somewhere in Hong Kong.  The ride was about 45 minutes and harrowing – first of all, that whole driving on the wrong side of the road thing is VERY disconcerting the first time – and our driver, although not taking chances, knew the dark curving road better than we did so she drove a little faster than we would have.

I honestly don’t remember much about getting home on the metro.  It was a long ride and I stood against the rail with my eyes closed.  When we got off and I realized we were just transferring to another train I started to think I was in the twilight zone.  That part of the trip involved me leaning on the rail, holding on to the hand strap with both hands and dropping my head onto my arms to sleep – it was all I could do.  Keeping my eyes open was no longer an option.

Getting off the train was a few blocks from the hotel and the crisp air and bright lights gave me enough energy to make it in the front door of the hotel, but wait – there were “treats” on the thirty ninth floor, and Jeff and Al said isn’t that why we had skipped desert?

So of course, I took one more detour to the treat lounge and had ten of the most delicious mini cream puffs I have ever tasted.

My pillow from home never ever ever felt so good.

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Hong Kong or Bust Part Two

I truly thought I was going to throw up. Not because I am afraid to travel by myself – I rather enjoy it – but because I had fifty pounds of crap on my back half of which was for Al’s benefit and for which I was sure he was totally ungrateful. And he had made the connections too close. And in general I don’t know why I married him or why I thought I wanted to go to Hong Kong with him. And because the USA Rugby team was on his plane, not mine. In other words, I was seriously pissed off and also bummed out. It really was going to be a drag – for both of us – to have to travel the distance alone. I almost felt worse for him. Almost.
I called Andy, who was on his way to the gym and asked him to come get me. Fortunately he was able to and my plan was to turn right around and go home. Then Patti got wind of this. This woman could sell ocean front property in Arizona. Wednesday’s not too late! Al’s been so excited you are coming! I’ll meet you at the airport! We’ll have a spa day and my friend will take us shopping and barter for jade! (say no more – my favorite rock…) All this while waiting at United Customer No Service to figure out how to get my luggage off the next plane to Hong Kong, which was a plane that would go through Haneda (I had no idea before today that Haneda is Tokyo International Airport), where it would sit for three hours and then go on to Hong Kong from there. I made a snap decision to – go.
I had about five hours so Andy scooped me up, took me to his place in Martinez, which God love him took an hour through heavy traffic while he listened to me rant and rave. At his house I unloaded some of the food, stretched my legs, ate a few homemade chocolate chip cookies, repacked everything so that it made sense for the new plan, took the BART back to the airport (boy, do I miss public transportation right to the airport doors. How ‘bout it, Orange County?) It was exactly what I needed and I don’t know if I could have continued in the same positive mind set had it not been for my wonderful son taking care of his mama.
So – the rest is pretty mundane. Slept well, my Nook didn’t work because for some reason it wanted me to enter my name and credit card. Barnes and Noble is skating on thin ice with me. Tokyo airport is amazing. Crazy clean, free luggage carts (hallelujah – I really honestly have no shoulders and neck left) and toilet stalls with bidets, front, back, dryer. IMG_0395Are you SERIOUS? In the airport toilet stall? Of course I used it after 12 hours in the air. The cart even fits in the stall. Japanese who work at the airport are insanely polite, in a passive aggressive kind of way. You might not understand what they are saying but you don’t need to – you do what they say – that accommodating smile from someone in power is rather scary.
As I was waiting I of course got online, and there on FB page was a friend who posted something, quite coincidentally, about Japanese Kit-Kats which come in flavors you’ve never heard of that are the best thing on the planet. I went back to the souvenir store to see if I could get “one” and there were Costco sized boxes of them stacked. I guess it’s a thing. I didn’t buy any and then a while later I decided the coincidence of it all meant I really should just go get some, what was one more thing stuffed into my carry on, and the store had closed (it was midnight in Tokyo). Oh well. Next time?
Now I am nearing Hong Kong. It will be 5:30 a.m. Wednesday (Tuesday evening in LA) when we land. Patti will be waiting for me at the airport to escort me back to the hotel, hassle free. All in all it wasn’t a bad trip. I had an open seat next to me for this part of the trip (four hours) and I managed to crunch myself up (yay for travelling with my bed pillow – you can call me crazy but I never regret it) and sleep for two hours. Ate some kind of weird Japanese airplane food and am ready to begin the fun. I think Al should arrange for me to have my picture taken with the rugby team or the star or something, don’t you?
We are scheduled to go on a hike over the Dragon’s Tail mountain today – I packed my trekking poles but they are in my checked luggage and hopefully it arrives. The nice lady at Haneda asked for my baggage claim and she claims it’s on the flight.
Well, the captain is telling us we’re getting close and I have to laugh, he has that same low key, drawn out, eeehhhhh, thing going on in Japanese as English speaking pilot has!
I am ready to hike, that’s for sure. Stay tuned…

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Hong Kong or Bust Part One

Well. When last we left Rocky and Bullwinkle, they were to meet on the plane in San Francisco. Bullwinkle was coming from Las Vegas where he had been on his annual reunion with his siblings, Rocky was coming from Orange County. Rocky was telling her patients at work about this plan and all the women agreed it sounded very romantic “The next time I see him will be on the plane headed to Hong Kong.”
Which is the only reason I was going on this trip to begin with. Al had already been invited by Jeff and Patti Plonsker to go to Hong Kong for the World Sevens Rugby Tournament (or part of it anyway –I’ll know more later) – they all had all but given up on me. Between school and moving and Mom moving and work I had not been willing to travel much, even bowing out of the group trip to Mexico in September. Al was moping a bit, asking me things like “do you think you’re ever going to want to travel again?” I admit I had been a so-so traveler on the Panama Cruise, largely because I was preoccupied with all of the above. I decided for the sake of the marriage to, what the hell, go to Hong Kong. This shocked everyone especially Al, and Patti was delighted to have me come and save her from Al and Jeff (two oldest friends, getting older along with the recycled jokes…).
I was a little freaked out by 15 hours in the air but thanks to the internet and friends on facebook, I was prepared. I had my eye mask, my noise cancelling headphones, my compression hose, my crossword puzzle book, the travel cribbage board and cards, my Nook all charged up with two new books, my computer (on which I’m writing right now), my iPad. I had my moistened face wipes, my face lotion, my mini Kleenex, my extra chargers for all the tech toys. I also had stuff for Al that he would never think of in a million years but I knew he would be happy to have: his eye mask, his noise cancelling headphones, his compression hose, moistened face wipes, chargers for whatever he might need charging. Oh yes, and the comfortable sports warmup pants he asked me to bring at the last minute because he hadn’t even thought of that.
And food – lovely homemade turkey and avocado flatbread sandwiches, Cuties oranges, hard boiled eggs, nutrigrain bars, freshly cooked teriyaki broccoli (it would have gone bad in the fridge). I barely managed to jam this all into my backpack and another cooler bag and couldn’t wait to meet Al and transfer over some of this crap to an extra carryon I had also packed. To say I had reached the weight limit on my ability to carry stuff is an understatement.
Only one problem. My flight from Orange County was about to take off when the pilot said we were grounded on orders from SFO air traffic – apparently the ceiling was too low in SF. (I don’t even know what that means in SF. The ceiling is always low). Not knowing what might happen, we were told to deplane. This turned out to be twenty to thirty minutes I couldn’t afford with a one hour layover between this flight and the long haul to Hong Kong.
We were off the plane about twenty minutes when – we were told we were going. Back on the plane. We will be there in 50 minutes. No problem, that will be 12:55, plane leaves at 1:20. I can make this. Ask my kids or read the blog about the time we made it seconds before the doors closed. You only have to get ON the plane, it doesn’t matter how close you cut it.
I didn’t. We arrived on the new schedule and….waited for a gate. By this time Al and I were texting – he was on the plane. He was telling me exactly how to get to the new gate. We texted back and forth helplessly as the doors closed and he had no choice but to go on without me. Not before he told me the USA Rugby team was on the plane. To those of you who are not familiar with the physical specimens known as rubgy players, I was robbed…

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Adventures in Singing

So a couple of years ago my voice teacher told me if I wanted to sing, I needed to get out there and sing. Of course, for me, the logical place to sing is to my beloved seniors.  It was always difficult for me when the karaoke guy would come to the SNFs I worked at because I’d want to sneak out of the clinic and belt out a tune.

With Mom moving to California I had a perfect place to set up shop.  I was still reluctant, until my voice teacher (that would be you, Perry!) told me if I didn’t approach the activities director by my next lesson I would owe him five bucks.  Well, that’s a venti mocha frappucino light at Starbucks, so…

Then we had to get busy.  My first show was jazz standards, and I was nervous as hell.  Making a fool of myself in public is not my favorite activity.  (All you old friends, zip it…)  I managed to get through it with a few accolades and the next time in November, I was less nervous.

I took a break in December and January since every Girl Scout troop in Anytown, USA makes it a point to sing Christmas carols at senior residences.  I had promised a few people that next time I would sing some show tunes.  24 hours before show time I started to panic.  Some of the songs I had chosen and worked on were just not feeling authentic.  “I Feel Pretty” from West Side Story is an example.  Somehow I’m just not feelin’ the 18 year old girl in love thing.

Fortunately, most musicals have wise older women who sing rueful tunes of lost loves, songs of how to live life, songs about what’s important.  With just about 18 hours to spare I threw out the young girl songs and songs that are still contenders but were causing me angst, and pulled out some old favorites that I knew I could sing…authenticity goes a long way in covering technical errors.   I pulled out “I’ve Grown Accustomed to Her (in this case, His) Face” from My Fair Lady, “Something Wonderful” from The King and I, “Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again” from Phantom (church voice friendly) and a few others.

I got all purtied up – I clean up well and need the “stage makeup” to get my confidence up. I was still a bit nervous singing the new program, but then it was over and…well, nobody really wants to move when you’re done singing at a senior residence for whatever reason.  Sure, some people doze off, but I like that.  It means I have made someone feel peaceful.  It means that my screeching didn’t jar anyone awake or cause the paramedics to make a visit. At any rate, they weren’t ready for me to stop.  I was fresh out of the new songs I had prepared, and had to go back into the past shows on my iPad.

And then magic happened.  Something clicked this time.  The songs that had made me so nervous back in October just floated out of my mouth, my heart.  I messed up some lyrics…but it didn’t matter.  I improvised.  It sounded nice.  The notes in my middle range that struck terror into my heart during my first show obeyed my breath and my intent.  I felt comfortable.  Warm and fuzzy.  Authentic.

The new songs I sang also had moments of terror re: that middle range, but now I know something – after I’ve sung them a few times it’ll be okay.  Perry always says (and it’s printed out in 72 font on the front of my music binder) “Never let the notes get in the way.”

PHoto of me   I get it now.

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A Visit From Terri!

I believe in angels, most of you know that.   The one who comes around most frequently is Terri, who passed from the physical realm almost three years ago now.  She comes floating through when I least expect it, but I always know it’s her – for example coming across, tucked away in a quilt shop,  a fat quarter of one of her leftover stash fabrics from our quilting days. For those who don’t know, once a quilt fabric is gone, unless it’s from Joann’s, it’s GONE.  Like lipstick colors, the fabric gets discontinued.  Sometimes you can find it on Ebay. If you need it because you mis-measured how much you’d need (frequent problem for me), you pay the double price.  Quilters understand.   I think I wrote a blog about Terri helping me out one time with that, from beyond, when I had all but given up on finding a favorite and desperately needed fabric. To have some discontinued fabric unexpectedly pop out at me that reminded me of sitting in her dining room quilting the summer night away is, no question in my mind, a “hello” from the great beyond.

Last night I was just finishing up my third to last paper for school.  It was midnight and I took a look at Facebook before heading off to bed.  One of my FB friends had been posting how she was seeing “Kinky Boots” at the Segerstrom Center for the Arts just down the street in Costa Mesa.  I’ve lived here for almost three years now and always hear about the wonderful things happening there, so last night I decided to check it out – what kind of events go on there?  Well it turns out everything.  “Kinky Boots” is a musical and has been getting great reviews from everyone who’s seen it, but concerts, ballet, you name it.  The pictures of the place look impressive.  Orange County – not as culturally dead as you might have been led to believe.

Then it caught my eye: Yo Yo Ma, world class cellist. Tuesday night.  May 5.  8 p.m.   Terri and I had gone to see him in SF during her last year of life.  I got the tickets without asking her, knowing she would love it.  We went downtown SF for dinner and the show and what a treat.  The man is like a small child, the great delight of making music resonates through his whole body, he moves as if he is in a constant state of joy.  It was really very special and one of my top ten memories with Ter.

Of course it is sold out for May.  Well, it’s only midnight plus 30 minutes, I’ll check on craigslist. Amazingly, 11 hours prior to my checking, 2 tickets had been posted.  $40/per.  The seats are in the chorale seating, which is actually behind the performance area – sort of where a chorale would stand if there was a chorale.  I immediately sent off an email and this morning I drove up to the home of an older couple in Laguna Woods Village (a gated retirement community up where Mom lives.)  I figured I probably wasn’t going to get killed or scammed in that case.  The tickets are mine.  I don’t care if I was hanging from the ceiling, but quite frankly I love the idea of being able to see the whole orchestra.

Before I sent the email I made sure I was going to be in town – had a nagging feeling I was heading out East in May?  Yes, I leave Wednesday, May 6 – for Atlanta. The purpose of my journey: to be present where Terri cannot physically be, to witness something she supported and made possible with her undying optimism since her daughter was still in high school. I am going there to be present when Anna joins me in my profession and graduates with a Doctor of Physical Therapy degree from Emory University.  It kills me that Terri cannot witness that day, and I fear that I will be a blubbering mess when the photos of the day do not include her, but I think I got the message last night – she’ll be there, and we’ll kick off the festivities with a reprise of Yo Yo Ma the night before I leave, Al a worthy stand in for her. Today, the rainstorm (the joy of which we also shared)  is just a little wave bye-bye as she moves on, I can hear her saying “my work here is done, for now!”

“You can say there’s no such thing as Santa, but as for me and Grandpa, we believe.”

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The Weather Outside

I am here to establish my sanity for once and for all, at least in regards to one measure: the fact that my nostalgia meter for Chicago goes off the charts when they are having weather like they are having right now.   Here I sit recovering from the flu which has had me dealing with a fever of 100+ for 48 hours.  Recovering is probably using the term loosely, as I feel a little chill even as I write.  I’m in California. It is  61 degrees outside.  In Chicago it is 7 degrees and that is balmy compared to the past few days. The wind chill takes it to a level that is unspeakable.  One would think I would be thanking my lucky stars that I was able to venture out today for a quick run to the store without having to put on a space suit of sorts.

I am thankful.  I’ve said it on this blog before: I DO remember.  I DO understand that by the end of winter you’ve had enough.  What I don’t understand is why, every year, for 33 years,  it is January/February that makes me so homesick for my native Chicagoland. It’s not just Chicago.  Why is my son, Jeff, much to his father’s daily remarks that ooze disbelief, happy as a clam making his home in Minneapolis?  Why are he and his brother, Joe, having “temperature wars” on instant messaging, bragging about who is enduring the lowest temperature, pulling the “wind chill” card if necessary?  I don’t think it’s just about the actual temperature.  It’s about something much more subtle that accompanies that weather. This is my attempt to figure it out.

Two posts came up on my Facebook page yesterday and today.  One was a general tribute to Chicago. Filmed in black and white, it just looked like winter.  It reminded me of going downtown the day after Thanksgiving to go Christmas shopping when I was about 14 with a friend.  We took the train.  So exciting to be able to go on our own.  Such a beautiful city – the department store windows all decorated up for Christmas.  It wasn’t the same in the summer – it was hot, yellow, dirty, steaming.  In winter it was crisp and black and white, the only smells were aromas from restaurants that lured you in for a grilled cheese or a hamburger.  Come inside, get warm, eat, we understand, you’re with kindred spirits. Summer is all kinds of fun on the lakefront and the surrounding suburbs and lake country.  That’s so easy, though.  Does that grilled cheese taste as good on July 20? Probably not.

The other post popped up today of a Bull’s game “Kiss Cam” stunt where the Celtics fan was ignoring his girlfriend only to have Benny the Bull carry her off.  It wasn’t the kisses of the Chicago fans, although they were adorable.  Fans everywhere kiss on Kiss Cam.  It was seeing the fans, jackets strewn across laps or still being worn, the boots, the scarves, the hats, the memory of bundling up for basketball games – Carmel High School, Marquette University, the Chicago Bulls (when I had tickets) – frigid weather not stopping me from getting to any of them.  You layer up, pull on your warm hat, wrap a “muffler” around your face for the walk from the parking lot to the court (at Marquette that was a long cold walk from campus to the Milwaukee Arena  – fueled by peppermint schnapps on the way there and beer on the way back).  Once inside, you are INSTANTLY warmed up – by the crowd, the excitement, the pure energy of a basketball game.  You have been rewarded well for your bravery!  Add in a win and it’s over the top worth every plunging degree on the Fahrenheit scale.

It wasn’t just basketball, though.  It was that way, for me, for everything.  Going out with friends – usually “going in” to someone’s house for the evening.  Same preparation for the journey.  Same feeling of relief when walking in to a warm house and taking off all the accoutrements – leaving the boots by the door on the mat to let the snow melt, letting the coats and scarves and hats and gloves warm up for the return trip.  In between? Hot chocolate and popcorn and movies and board games and Let’s Go to the Races on Channel 9 WGN and laughs.  Those of you reading this from back home – you know who you are, you know what I’m talking about, despite your understandable complaining about what you are enduring right now.  So warm.  So home. So appreciated.  We were in it together.

I have made friends here, but it is possible that there are also friends I have never met here, because there was no necessity.  No smiles shared while shivering in elevators together just to make sure you’re still alive after the walk from the parking lot, no flash mobs for the purpose of pushing people’s cars out of snow banks.  Lousy weather prevented crazy expensive social life in the winter – it required “well, do YOU want to risk your life getting to MY house or is it MY turn to risk my life getting to YOUR house?”   I like to imagine even now little kids are making memories with their video games, tomato soup and grilled cheese for lunch, their noses running but still feeling, deep inside, warm.

I know that things are not always what they seem.  I know that everyone did not grow up how I grew up.  I know there is suffering there this time of the year – people, animals, businesses, the psyche bears the weight of the long winter.   Weatherwise, California is heaven, there’s no question about it.  Like anything else, we come to take for granted what we have been given in this life. Surely, I have come to take for granted how lucky I am to live in a place where a trip to the beach, if only for a walk, is an option on January 8.  I understand that I romanticize the past, but isn’t that what nostalgia is?  How lucky I am to have that ability, to hold cherished memories in my heart.

I don’t know.  Still don’t think I’ve been able to put words on it.  I only know I miss my native Illinois so much this time of the year, and it’s not because of the WEATHER, it’s BECAUSE of the weather.

Posted in General Musings | Leave a comment

Just the Facts, Ma’am

The animal control officer was very nice and even gently told me to calm down as I ventured off into “I hope I don’t have to sue them” land.  Just the facts ma’am.  I am writing this mostly to get it off my chest and clear it all out of my brain so that I don’t have to re-run it in my head all day, as I did yesterday.

It was a dark and stormy night.  No wait.  It was a gorgeous, pristine January day in San Clemente.  I was walking with Ed the Dog. I have two routes – one that takes me to a street in the neighborhood that does not have homes on it.  When you get to the top of the hill on that street you can look one direction and see mountains (now with snow) and turn 90 degrees and see the ocean.

At the end of that street, just before I take the right turn to head for home, there is a yard with security fencing.  Old security fencing apparently.  I am aware that behind that fence are two crazy vicious German Shepherds (disclaimer: I love all dogs.  I know that some breeds are more easily turned into assholes than others.  Shepherds are one of those breeds. I have known and loved several Shepherds in my life.)  But let me repeat.  Crazy vicious.

“Why would I walk past there, then?”  Blame the Victim Mary  asks.  Well, because I should be able to walk on a public street on a public sidewalk with my dog on a six foot leash and enjoy the beautiful view.  “Why not walk on the other side of the street, then?” Blame the Victim Mary asks.  Well, because there is no sidewalk on the other side of the street and also see the answer to the last question.

I always hang on to Ed the Dog and walk quickly past that house even when he is aching to go over and say “hello.”  Yes, Ed loves other dogs – the two huge Dobermans next door who scrap with him in a friendly dog play manner and my walking pal’s new puppy who pulls at Ed’s floppy boxer flews as if they were doggie toys.  Walking past that house is the only bad thing about taking that route – two minutes of stress in an otherwise lovely walk.

Yesterday it turned into more than two minutes of stress.  Hell, I’m STILL stressed.  It appeared that the dogs were inside because they didn’t come tearing at us as usual.  Then, out of nowhere, I heard it come to the fence.  My guard was down for just the time it took for Ed to venture (on his short lead) from the sidewalk across the three feet to the fence to say hello.  Only this time I wasn’t able to yank on his leash for him to heel and keep walking fast enough.  The fence post was loose.  The other dog pushed his snout through the loose fencing an grabbed Ed’s face, and not in a nice puppy-playing-with-flews way.  He was latched on for the long haul.

It was nothing less than terrifying.  Ed was howling, I was screaming.  Again, no houses on this street.  I thought I was going to watch my dog die in front of me.  I started screaming for help.  I did not want to get closer to give the leash enough slack for the other dog to be able to grab more of Ed.  I did not want to pull the leash lest Ed’s face get more injured in a tug of war between a Shepherd’s powerful jaw and me.   Fortunately, a car came around the bend and saw my distress.  Two women hopped out of the car.  One ran to the front of the house (around the corner) and although she was terrified herself by the beware of dog sign, ran quickly up, knocked on the door and ran back to the street, where she yelled to the owners to get their dog.  The other woman started to try to separate them but at that moment the owner yelled “Let it go!” and the shepherd immediately unlatched.  At least it is well trained in THAT regard.

Ed, bless his heart, bleeding from who knew where, came over to me as if it was the most exciting thing that had ever happened to him, tail wagging and happy to be free.  God I love this dog.  Not an evil bone in his body.

One of the women recommended I call 911 and I thought that would be a good idea, but as I was beginning my explanation to the dispatcher I heard the words I still cannot believe, from the owner:  “What was your dog doing on our side of the fence?”  I wanted to jump over the fence myself, but I kept trying to explain to the dispatcher, who wanted an address (again, empty street) but also wanted to know if I was arguing with the owner (in which case police would be sent) or if I wanted to report the dog attack (in which case I needed animal control).  Well, a little bit of both but the other woman was tearing a new one on the owner, so I opted for animal control.  The whole neighborhood knows about these dogs and as my rescuer told me as she was driving me home, she doesn’t walk that way anymore.

“Gosh, Mary, why do you walk that way?” Blame the Victim Mary asked. See above.

I did not realize the dispatcher was calling animal control, so I went home, told Al what happened, called the vet to make sure they were open, got back in the car, drove back to scene of the crime to take picture of their address.  Leaving the scene of the crime I saw animal control driving up, stopped and gave him the story.  He took photos of the broken fence (complete with Ed’s blood), told me the owners were liable for any damages, sent me off to the vet (say “hi” to Dr. Pat for me…) and went to confront the owners.  I will not get a report until probably Tuesday.

At the vet, Dr. Pat explained how even though it didn’t look like much, there was air under his lacerated skin, where the skin had been pulled away from the muscle  and this could get abscessed.  Needed to put in a drain to allow fluids and air and whatever to escape.  Bruising all down Ed’s neck, didn’t appear trachea had been punctured because he was breathing ok but keep an eye. Sedation, antibiotics, antiinflammatory, pain meds, a Cone of Shame, rabies booster.  $550 later and that doesn’t include return visits.

It is now the next day.  Between Al being sick and Ed intermittently crying, I slept in the guest room with Ed to make sure he’d be okay.  He was, but woke up wanting to scratch the drain.  Back on with the Cone of Shame.

Now the fun part comes.  Approaching the owners to hand them the vet bill – owners who came out and wanted to know why my dog was on their side of the fence.  Well, actually he wasn’t, UNTIL YOUR DOG GRABBED HIS FACE AND PULLED HIM THROUGH.

I am honestly praying that they will do the right thing and pay the bill. I don’t want to further this, never do.  I have lost probably millions just getting car repair bills paid by a taxi company when I was broadsided with my three year old and new infant in the car. (I had to go to small claims court for that one).  In retrospect….

However, this time, I will not back down.  If they don’t pay this bill, I’m going to follow through until everyone in the neighborhood can walk up that street without being terrorized. I know, first world problems, but here I am in the first world. Bloom where I’m planted.

Ed the Dog is next to me on the couch, snuggled tight against me, snoring, having finally gotten comfortable with the Cone of Shame.  He’s such a blessed dog, sweetest dog I’ve ever had. Finally, after the anger has subsided, it just breaks my heart that such a sweet, loving, trusting, get-along-with-everyone  ten year old dog should have to be in pain due to irresponsible paranoid guard dog owners.

Fortunately he’s one tough cookie.  He was rescued, after all, from somewhere down here in SoCal – last known vet was in Hollywood.  He’ll get over it.  Not sure I will.  I’ll be heading back over there today to take my own photos of the blood and see if that dog is still running “free.”  Just in case I find myself on The People’s Court…

God, I hope not.

Posted in Animal Lover | 1 Comment

Shoot First. Ask Questions Later?

http://news.yahoo.com/cleveland-release-video-boy-shot-officer-110012912.html

There wasn’t even enough time to say hello. He was 12 years old. I’m a nice white girl from a suburb in Illinois who was raised to respect cops and think rationally. I don’t hate cops. I don’t cry racism every time a black person commits a crime and is caught.

But if, as a cop, you are so terrified of the occupational hazards of working in an inner city neighborhood that you are going to SHOOT DEAD every person who points a gun at you, then wear a bullet proof vest wherever you go or work in a gated community or be a florist. This is truly one of the saddest things I’ve ever seen. And for those who might see this young black boy as a potential thug because, well, because he’s black?

Let me tell you what I see as the mother of three sons.

I see a little boy playing out what he witnesses in his backyard more often than should be the case in the life of any little boy.

I see a little boy who was born in an environment that I can’t imagine living in and raised how he is being raised, without his permission or control.

I see a little boy, for heaven’s sake, twirling the gun on his finger like a cowboy in an old western.

If you want to conjecture that he’s practicing for life as a drug dealing thug, that’s your prerogative.   Maybe that was his path.  Maybe he would have met a positive role model.  The point is, we will never know if that would have been his path and it wasn’t the cop’s right to make that prediction.

If little boys in the country can be given real guns to play with, why is it suddenly a crime-in-progress for a little black boy to be playing with a fake one?  Why is it that we didn’t used to have to put orange tips on toy guns to protect our little boys from scared or trigger happy cops?

The events of the past few months  have resulted  in not just crowds of black mothers who are weeping, it now includes crowds of weeping white mothers.  Now maybe something will be done?

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Up Close and Personal

I have been a physical therapist for 32 years.  Everything I need to know to do this job is in my little black bag.  Exercise, massage techniques, pain modalities, compassion, empathy, creative ways to make a functional activity easier in the face of limited mobility, scar control, you name it.  Last but not least, I have the wise words of my clinical instructor at Rehab Institute of Chicago: “It’s not always about what you know in this business, it’s whether you know how to find the answer.”  The diagnoses might change, the variations on a theme of what intervention to use might be many, but essentially I know how to be a physical therapist.

I start a new job next week, in a setting I have wanted to be in for a very long time.  The teaching gig ended up not being practical – too big of a learning curve for me, too much time preparing outside of class to do it the way I wanted to do it (thus making about a buck an hour) not to mention the realization that some students were going to make judgments about me and hate my guts for no reason.  I can live without that at age 60.  I may go back into the classroom occasionally, but the idea that it would blossom into full time has been proven impractical at best.

As is so often the case, when one door closes another opens, I will be working at a small outpatient clinic, owned by a woman my age who has also just completed her DPT, meaning she, too, is a lifelong learner.  Besides the usual orthopedic outpatient caseload, the clinic also serves women with pelvic pain and dysfunction and women post-mastectomy, with or without lymphedema.

Both of these areas of physical therapy are areas in which I have wanted to practice, but was never at the right place at the right time, until now.  I now have a mentor, a place to practice and the desire.  Right place.  Right time.  Right mentor. Most of my patients when I begin next week are typical ortho outpatients – low backs, knees, shoulders, necks.  One patient will be post-mastectomy.

So of course I got digging to review and relearn everything I might need to know about breast cancer – about the anatomy of the breast and axillary area lymph nodes, about the types of surgeries.  The lymphedema was covered well and I have a long distance mentor in that regard from the Advanced Clinical Practice Course in the DPT program.

I have often said I am tired of working in geriatrics not only because it is physically exhausting, but it was also becoming mentally exhausting, a little too close to home for an old lady to be treating her peers. Today, researching breast cancer and mastectomies, I realized that is nothing compared to what I am about experience in my career.  Looking at photos of post-surgical breasts, breast reconstruction, thinking about what that must be like, I realize I have much more than anatomy to study up on.  I need to read about what those women experience.  I need to examine my own feelings about it.

I have often discussed with others how disturbing it is every year to get the mammogram.  To have your breast squashed as flat as possible (one time Al came in out of curiosity to see what I was talking about and was astonished – I can still see how big his eyes got – to see the procedure and how flat the breast is compressed) always leaves me feeling somehow violated.  I always feel something akin to mild grief – as if I want to cry and don’t know why.   I am feeling that way right now after delving into the subject.  I am about to face my own fears, my own feelings about my breasts, my own self-image.

It’s about to get up close and personal.

addendum: If there are any friends out there who have experienced breast cancer or mastectomy who would like to contact me separately to share your experience with me, I would welcome that.  You can message me privately on FB.

Posted in Physical therapy Stories | Leave a comment