Homework

It’s going to take me awhile to get used to this.  I left my computer at work.  I don’t have anything I have to do tonight for work.  I just resisted the temptation to check my work email at home.  No need to worry about it until tomorrow now.

For six years I have worked in home health, which meant I had documentation to do once I got home.  It is a noble work, that I can say for sure.  Seeing patients in their homes was the most satisfying work of my physical therapy career. One-on-one is a therapist’s dream in a world of managed care and dwindling compensation, where tag-teaming patients is the norm.  I loved going into homes to see my patients.  Their world was opened up to me, whether it was a hoarder’s home or a neat freak’s home or a multimillion dollar home or a slum home.  I’ve been in them all over the years.

Once I left the home the work was not over however.  Talking to the family when they got home from work about how it went, what they can do to help, researching equipment, thinking about plans for next session.  No matter how long one is in this business, it never gets cookie cutter, at least not for me, at least not in geriatrics.  There are so many variables when treating geriatrics that one-size-fits-all therapy is never the way.  Even if I did finish my paperwork, I’d be thinking about a problem as I tried to drift off to sleep.  What if that rude son is there again?  How am I going to explain to Mr. Jones that his wife really cannot progress any further and I must discharge her as is?  Endless questions.  Endless emotion.  Endless stress.

The end of the day would find me lugging my work into the house, not sure whether I would do it that night or the next morning before starting all over again on the road.  The picayune requirements for Medicare now take up so much time – fax this, email that, document every every everything.   “If it’s not documented it didn’t happen.”  This is a direct result not of a desire for better patient care, but of a litiginous society. That’s a subject for another blog. (I love it when a computer program underlines a word like litiginous as if it is spelled incorrectly.  Yes, there really is a word ‘litiginous.’ Dumbing down, indeed.)

But today, I walked into the house.  I placed my purse on one hook, my keys on another, placed the two folders of exercise sheets that I won’t be needing on my PT shelf and came up to play on my computer – when I finish here I will be pulling up recordings of last week’s choral rehearsal and instructions for the little knitted chickie Easter egg covers.  Best of all, when my brain goes into “work” mode I just have to remind it – not tonight, dear.

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Bad News for Twister the Cat

Poor Twisty.  She loves to go outside, but this is the first spring she’s lived with us since Andy has been residing here.  My little spring birdies are starting to return home to nest – the Oregon Juncos in particular tend to nest low to the ground, if not on the ground as do the California Quail with their button feather babies.  Although I love the fact that Twister might get the gophers to move elsewhere, the idea that I might find a mangled junco baby is just not ok with me.

I haven’t told Andy yet, but she’s going to be sequestered.  Just like Hot Rod the Dog had to go because he wanted to eat Twisty, she’s going to have to stay inside because she wants to eat baby birdies.  If she’s still living here after the spring and early summer baby birdie boom, she can go back out.  I’ll even go buy some kitty toys for her to torture.

In other bird news, I have a new idea about how to watch baby house finches stick their little heads up out of the nest just outside my kitchen windows without having to also find that a blue jay has just eaten them for breakfast while mom and dad were out foraging for food.  There is nothing more heartbreaking than watching a mom and dad house finch tweeting at each other, dancing around the nest as if to say “What happened?  Where are they?  I thought YOU were watching them!”  So. I’ve had this idea for awhile.   I went to TAP Plastics and purchased a bird house sized plexi-glass box.  I intend to drill air holes all over it and one doorway (not too big!) and put a piece of screen over the top, and then mount it where I used to have that lovely little platform for nesting that turned into a blue jay bird feeder.   We’ll see.  I’m not sure if house finches will go into a box but maybe something will.  Here is a videos from a few years back – before the blue jays realized I had put out a “feeder” for them.  Cutest thing ever.

http://www.youtube.com/user/moohorton#p/a/u/1/vJXgyUptf3U

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How Do I Look?

“We are so vain that we even care for the opinion of those we don’t care for. ”

Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach

Such was the daily quote on my Google front page today.  This just cracked me up, it is so true!  I almost care more about the opinion of people I don’t care for – and who don’t care for me – than I do about people I do care for!  What a strange phenomenon.  I don’t care if I get caught by someone I love and who loves me when I’m in the grocery store looking like I just fell out of bed.  They take me as I am.  It’s the person who stabbed me in the back somewhere along the line that I worry about running into when I am sans makeup and my hair looks like hell and I have my most unattractive pants on and a t-shirt that, although it might reflect my sports team of the day, is totally the wrong color for me.

Isn’t it human nature to want to show the person who thinks little of you that you are really big – big – big?  And getting along fine without them? And if truth be told I am doing better without them mucking up my life?  Or is it just me and Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach who are that vain and insecure.  Cmon be honest.

Tomorrow I am going to a day long seminar regarding the business of home health.  I have spent more of my precious lifetime than I should wondering whether I’ll run into the all-too-recent PT graduate who took the job as supervisor at my last job and let’s just say we did not share the same ethical framework.  I left the job and am much happier where I am (isn’t that often the way?) but I dream of running into her and making it clear that I am now in a supervisory position myself and don’t even think about applying to the company I work for.  That’s terrible!  And yet I’m so vain I even care that a snippy little girl who can’t hold a candle to me intellectually or ethically knows I’m not just doing ok but doing GREAT and I’ve lost weight, too.  That’s pretty vain and thank God there was someone like Maria von E-E who can make me laugh about it and feel a little normal.  I promise tomorrow I will not scan the room looking for my nemesis and if I do run into her, I will simply tell her that I’ve been advised by my lawyer not to speak to her until I have decided what to do.  Which is nothing.  I don’t even have a lawyer. But she doesn’t know that.

I would like to purchase one ticket to hell please, clearly I’m going to need it someday.  Of course I’ll have to make sure every hair is in place and that I’m wearing a gorgeous shade of red with lipstick, shoes and purse to match.  Wouldn’t want the Devil to think for a moment that he’s gotten one over on me.

Posted in General Musings | Leave a comment

I Married a Man Just Like the Gal…

There was an old song something along the lines of “I married a gal, just like the gal, who married dear old dad.”  Weirdness and/or truth aside, I always said I married a guy, just like the gal who married dear old dad,  meaning my husband shares a lot of my mother’s – ahem – qualities.

When we were first married, it became clear that Al, like Mom, thought it was a good idea to put things in such a safe place in the house that it could never be found again.   In our married life I have solved that problem by setting up a file called the CRS – Can’t Remember Shit – File.  We ended up having to name it the RCRS – Really Can’t Remember Shit – File because at first I succumbed to the “safe place method” of safekeeping and filed it somewhere we couldn’t find it.  It is in my safe hands now.

When the boys were little we packed up and went to Mundelein for a visit and when it was time to prepare for our departure the night before, Al had put the airplane tickets in such a safe place – in my Mom’s home, no less – that we were unable to find them and had to re-purchase our lost tickets and go through the hassle of getting a refund later.  My Mom eventually found the tickets months later – tucked into the very front of her small file cabinet that was in her little spare bedroom “office” that doubled as a guest bedroom.  It wasn’t that we hadn’t looked in there – but it was very very safely tucked, so that no burglars would ever find it in the two weeks that we were there, I guess.

My Mom is well known for her  “I hope everything is going to be all right” comment after plans have been made for just about anything.  My Dad used to joke that when Mom dies, she’s be standing at the Pearly Gates.  St. Peter will be standing there, the gates will be wide open, choirs of angels will be heralding her arrival.  He will say “Helen, we have been waiting for you!  You have lived an exemplary life!  There is no need for us to even think twice – your spot in Heaven awaits you.  C’mon in!”  At which point Mom will wring her hands and look nervously around and say “I hope everything’s going to be allright.”

Al has a touch of this.  OK, more than a touch.  It just goes to show that opposite attract.  Case in point.  Earlier this week we realized Al had to take some use it or lose it vacation time.  Because my job duties have changed and I have to set up one week a month that is written in stone, I demanded we sit down and decide.  By 11:30 p.m. Monday night we were set and ecstatic:  We found a bargain cruise to Alaska, at the perfect time of year, leaving and returning out of San Francisco.  We booked it and had until 7 p.m. Friday night to change our minds.

I started planning the only “shore” excursion I wanted to do – a separate whale watching boat tour  out of Juneau and went on with my life.   Al pulled a Fodor’s out of the library.  Friday morning he shocks me (after 29 years you would think I would be used to this) with a laundry list of what was wrong with the cruise we had chosen, not the least of which was that we really weren’t going to get up close and personal to glaciers.  Our cruise would take us to the Tracy Arm Fjord, which by all internet accounts was just fabulous.  Good enough for me, but not for Al.  I blessed him on his way as he went into the office to look at alternatives and took off for my own work and lunch with a girlfriend.

When I arrived home at 5 p.m. this dear man had prepared an Excel spreadsheet of the possible cruise alternatives that would take us to Glacier Bay as well as everywhere else we were already going.  Of course we realized that leaving from SF was no longer an option, but that was sheer luck anyway, and quite frankly I think I can live without two days at sea on the north Pacific, even if it is summer.  Two days at sea in Mexico, yes.  Off the coast of Oregon, maybe not.

We were getting to the bewitching hour of 7 p.m. and Al went one more time to the best cruise internet site in the world, Vacations to Go.  I hate to let out the secret.  It looks so cheesy when you go on there, but they are the clearinghouse for cruise reservations that have been cancelled at the cutoff point of 75 or 90 days.  People book cruises and there is a cutoff day usually 90 days before the cruise where you have to put your money down or pay a penalty if you cancel after that date.  This “sweet spot” is a good time to get deals.  You have to be ready to book and know exactly what you want before you go to the site, however, as you have to pay in full and no refunds.

And what a deal Mr. Think Twice got us.  A better boat, a better tour, a better price AND four extra days of land tour.  We will drop in at Fairbanks, tour Denali (Mt McKinley National Park), breakfasts and fun little excursions included (like a sternroller ride down the Chena River); then we embark in Anchorage and off to the cruise of a lifetime, ending in Vancouver.  One more thing about Vacations to Go –  the person on the other end of the phone is clearly a travel agent and is at your service from the moment of the phone call until the day of your cruise.  She even picked up that it was Al’s birthday while we’re there and arranged for that to be known on the ship, as well as putting us down for an automatic upgrade.  You can’t ask for more than that.  Even the Princess Line rep said they can’t beat Vacations to Go.  There, now you know.  Don’t abuse it.

Anyway, I just shake my head at this man.  It is difficult for me to shut my big yapper and let him go through this process that he is driven to navigate.  (I’ve been reading a lot of cruise stuff, can you tell?)  I know I can be a bit annoying – “Honey, have you figured it out yet?  What have you found?  What are we going to do?”  In other words, the grown woman’s version of “Are we there yet?”  I want the plans made, the deal struck and not have to think about it again until it’s time to pack.  He literally worked all day finding the almost perfect vacation for us and then, as if rewarded for his efforts, we were handed the best deal of the day.

When I told Mom about all this she was so pleased.  She was glad to know there was someone else in the family who thinks like she does and as she says “Sometimes it comes in handy.”  I thought that was a cute way of putting it – and also the understatement of the summer travel season 2011.

This is the trip of a lifetime for us.  I never really thought it would happen and because I’m such a thriftster I’m pleased it is priced well within trip-of-a-lifetime boundaries.   However, I have only one person to thank – the guy I married who’s just like the gal who married dear old Dad.

Thanks honey. 🙂

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Lenten Lesson

Lent: A time for reflection on “how I’m doing” on this road to spiritual perfection.  Oops, not so good it appears.

The body of the young man who died on the Oregon coast when the tsunami hit washed up on shore last week.  It was the first time a human face had really been put on the story, and once again I was reminded how quick I am to judge, though it is rarely my place to do so.  To be a judge in the legal system, I would presume, one has to consider all the  relevant information available and make a decision to the best of her ability.  How often in daily life do I have even a small percentage of the relevant information at my fingertips let alone all, and yet I judge anyway.

In this case, my first reaction was cyncical: “Oh well, Darwin’s Law in action again.  What kind of idiot would go out to look at a tsunami?  Duh.”   However, here is a fact of which I was unaware:

The time the surge was predicted to hit the coast, 7:30 a.m., had passed.

“As far as they knew, it was all over with,” Jon Weber said. “The wave came in and that was it.”

Oops.  Ok, even if I wanted to push the issue and say any idiot would figure that there would be really really big waves before and after the time the tsunami was expected to hit, there is one fact I failed to consider.

Jon Weber was the young man’s father.  Surely he felt our collective judgement about his son and how that must have compounded his already unspeakable pain.  My sons like to hop around on rock formations high above the ground.  How would I feel if one of them fell and I heard via the grapevine that comments were floating around the web on how stupid it is to defy gravity in that manner.

He was just a kid.  He made a poor decision and paid for it with his life.  Who am I to judge him?

My friend Terri, an extremely intelligent and compassionate woman, grew up near the California coast.  She related to me once how as young people they would stand on the cliffs overlooking the ocean when the wind was blowing strong, spread their arms out and lean into the wind.  Their assumption was that the wind would continue to blow at that speed and that they would NOT suddenly be leaning in mid-air with nothing to stop them from bouncing down the side of the cliff to their deaths on the rocks and pounding waves below them.  Young people see themselves as immortal, death is something that happens to old people in good time.  You don’t have to be genetically inferior on the Darwin scale nor necessarily stupid to do stupid things, especially as a young person.

When I was a kid growing up in a Catholic community, and someone young would die, the adults would comfort us by saying the person was so loved in God’s eyes that He took them back earlier than usual.   Who am I to say that’s not exactly true – that the young man had fulfilled his purpose on Earth and had been a vehicle for teaching us – not just that we shouldn’t go standing at the ocean’s edge anytime before or after a tsunami, but that we shouldn’t go standing in judgement just because we know we would never do anything so stupid.

Or would we?

Posted in Oh My God | Leave a comment

Winchester Road and the Stars

Today the Google icon tells us it is the fiftieth anniversary of the first human space flight. Yuri Gagarin blasted into space on April 12, 1961.

1961.  I was six years old.  I think it must have been that spaceflight, rather than Sputnik, when Mom and Dad took us out to Winchester Road to watch the “star” fly across the sky.  I don’t think I would remember that had I been three years old, but either way, remember it I do.  I don’t recall the weather, or the time, I only remember my little self with people around me telling me to look up, there it was.  And then it was only me and the little star floating across the dome of the sky.  I can see that little star in my mind’s eye so clearly, it was magic.  Of course I didn’t realize what it meant, that within my young lifetime we would land on the moon and send people back and forth to a space station like it was a corporate headquarters in New York.

There was a time in my twenties when I really rued that I hadn’t been born stronger and smarter – I would have jumped at the chance to go into outer space.  Some folks think it’s a waste of money, and I can understand that, but I think it is out there for our challenge and our awe.  I think it holds secrets of the continuance of humanity, secrets of eternity, secrets of God.

Who knows what the future holds?  It may be that within the next twenty years I will be rich enough (yeah, right) and they will have figured out a way to send old people up there is some ultra-pressurized-easy-chair kind of way.   I always say I was born to late (I love antiques and souvenirs of bygone days – I even have a tintype photograph I found in an antique store of someone I don’t even know from the Civil War era) and that I was born too early (just missed the space age).

Maybe I’ll get another chance in another lifetime someday, but I’m a little sorry the little girl on Winchester Road was too little, too late.

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Spring Surprises

I don’t even remember planting them.  I remember sowing the sweet pea seeds – too many for them all to survive – on top of some sort of bulbs.  If you had asked me I would have said they were just more yellow daffodils, the never fail deer resistant bulbs that are always the first to pop up.

Instead, I got tulips.  Pink tulips, yellow tulips, fuschia tulips with accent of purple, red tulips with pointy petals and black stripes.  I have never had so many tulips and wonder what got into me last fall.  One thing I do know, next year there will be more of them.

Tulips don’t always return year after year in California. They need a good winter frost to “set” the bulb, and short of pulling them up and putting them in the refrigerator year after year you can only hope.  We had a cold winter this year, several frost spells, and I guess it was enough for some of last year’s to return as well as the new ones I planted this year.

One year I did pull them up and had tulip bulbs in the lettuce bin all winter – that ended when the appetites of three boys replaced the needs of tulips.  I wouldn’t do it even now – too much work.  I will be planting more next year though, everywhere I can think of.  I was so pleasantly surprised to see them come up!

The sweet peas just keep climbing and stumbling over each other, I know that when the tulips have wilted away the sweet peas will not be far behind.  Just have to keep spraying the disgusting deer repellant on them. Haven’t seen any gophers yet, maybe the cat will discourage them from returning this year.  There are also some lillies starting to rise up, and the peony bush is showing its face.

The best? The old fashioned lilac bush I replanted two years ago to a sunnier spot this year had five, count ’em, five blossom sprays on them, enough for me to cut two and bring them into the house.  Nothing says Illinois like the fragrance of lilacs.  Before long it will be mature and after this year’s success I’m thinking I should put more in.

Finally, the oranges are just about ready.  I pulled one off today and it was like candy.  I will leave the rest on for maybe one more hot spell and then start pulling them.  The tree is crazy with oranges this year, also its first year of true maturity, so I will probably end up making orange marmalade!

Take good cover from the tornadoes my dear ones in the Midwest and I’ll watch out for tsunamis and earthquakes and hope to see you all soon!

Posted in The Joys of Home Ownership | Leave a comment

The Non-book

Ok, this here is my review of the Nook I got for my birthday from Al.  I was one of those who thought I would miss the feel of the book, the turning of the pages, the smell of the paper.  A few years back a patient of mine (RIP, Joanie) was unable to hold books anymore and she got a Kindle because a friend of hers, who was a non-stop reader, saw the guy next to her at the health club using his while he worked out on the elliptical.  He said he loved it so her friend thought she’d give it a try, even though she’d miss the feel of the book, the turning of the pages, the smell of the paper.   Turns out she loved it.

It has taken me awhile, but I’ve just read my first complete book on my Nook. The Girl with the Dragon Tatoo (recommend? meh – it was a bit of a page turner but pretty creepy all in all).  It was 426 pages long and the only thing I didn’t like was that I had to glance down at the corner to see that I was on page 153/426.  I kind of like being able to look at the book and know I’m getting there.  On the whole, however, it was quite nice.  The Nook is very light, so light that it felt like I wasn’t holding anything at all.  Apparently I got used to having to push the little button on the side to get to the next page, because I somehow got to the end of the book without realizing that I needed to push the button.  I read a lot of the book when I was nursing my cold in bed yesterday, and you know how you get tired of holding a book in bed – none of that.

All in all I’m pretty pleased.  I don’t think I’ll use it all the time – the books are expensive to download from Barnes and Noble, and the places on the internet where you can download for free scare me a bit – there’s got to be a catch.  I am going to look into where you can download e-books from the local library.  I don’t know if that’s possible here but I am sure that before long it will be a standard process.   One thing I plan to do is download the B & N “Essentials” collections – collections of classics (I’m surprised at how many I have never read) for less than $5.

So I think of it this way – if I am travelling and have 100 classic books at my fingertips, and all I have to pack is a Nook, and maybe download a newer book to the Nook for $12 – well, what’s not to like?

My only recommendation – since I got my Nook they have come out with one (Kindle or Nook, I’m not sure) where instead of pushing the button to move to the next page you just swipe your finger across the screen like an iPhone.  That would definitely be worth a little extra money.

So, there’s my Nook review for you.

Posted in BOOKS | 1 Comment

I Scream, You Scream, We All Scream For…

The Google icon this a.m. tells us it is the 119th anniversary of the ice cream sundae!   What a great day it is!   I am still working on not eating ice cream in a (so far successful) attempt to decrease my mass, but when I finally reach my goal (those five pairs of LL Bean five pocket jeans in every color of the rainbow) you can bet I’m headed to the San Francisco Ice Cream company in Walnut Creek for a monster sundae.

My favorite is the tin roof – butter pecan ice cream, fudge topping and peanuts – whipped cream and a cherry on top for sure.

When I lived in New York there was a fabulous ice cream parlor in the next town and it was there that I learned a lesson about how being a harping bitch who expressed her opinion with nothing at all to back it up could eventually end up eating…well, ice cream. By the way, I would have to take that life class many times over to finally get a passing grade, sometime around age 50.

My friend was trying to convince me to order some concoction with cherry ice cream.  I don’t like cherry ice cream.  What ARE those things in cherry ice cream? Certainly not cherries.  And anyway, if I wanted something with fruit in it I’d go to the salad bar (or go get a fruitcake :-).  Generally I don’t like chunks of things in my ice cream other than nuts – that whole Rocky Road thing is just not my style – marshmallows belong around a campfire, not in ice cream.

Anyway, D and I got into a rather heated exchange about cherry ice cream, largely because he always ordered cherry ice cream and I was giving him a wrath of abuse about how boring he is and how he never tries anything different.  It was just a metaphor, I think, about how boring his life was – the small town boy, the no ambition except to wait for his inheritance – by that time I was just about done with my New York experience.  Poor D.  He really was the nicest guy of the bunch.

We went round and round with me being the noisiest, of course.  I ordered something off the menu, and like most ice cream parlors the choices all had weird names.  In all my bitching I hadn’t really bothered to fully look at the list of ingredients. You guessed it – when it arrived it was chock full of cherry ice cream.  In retrospect I suppose it’s possible one of them “went to the bathroom” and changed my order, but nevertheless, I ate it just to prove that I wasn’t as small minded as D and was willing to expand my world.

I liked it.  It was delicious.  Lesson learned, sort of.

Posted in General Musings | Leave a comment

Southwest End of Horse Headed Northeast

That would be my son, Jeff.

Here I sit, serenely writing, and he bursts into the room.  The conversation goes something like this:

Jeff: “MOM! Hot Rod got the cat!”

Me: “What?!?!?!!?”

Jeff: “Hot Rod! He got the cat.”

Me: (springing out of my chair, wondering how I will ever explain this to Andy): “He didn’t!”

Jeff: “He did!”

Me: “Oh my God he didn’t!”

Jeff: “No, he didn’t. April Fool’s.”

Damn.

I deserve that.  On April 1, 1962 I made my First Communion.  Mom was having a big party of course.  It was lift-off – she was in the kitchen doing last minute preparations before going to the church, and I called her from the living room, in distress.  “Mom!  Daisy (our beagle) pooped in the living room!”  She came tearing out of the kitchen much in the same emotional state that I was in five minutes ago.

Little First Holy Communion girl in her white dress and veil and wrist corsage: “April Fool’s”

Both were pretty darn good ones if you ask me!

Posted in Raking the Playroom | Leave a comment